Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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