I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
