I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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