i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
