like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
