You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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