It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't deserve a penis
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
