Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
And then he peed in my hair
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