i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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