holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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