Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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