used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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