A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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