Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She said her name was "party"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
