That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize