just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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