so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize