I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
