Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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