When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
