yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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