we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize