then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
