I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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