I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
