I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
