I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
