Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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