youre lurking in front of me
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
