Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
