Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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