is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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