I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
