She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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