It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
