It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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