another moral hangover. fuck.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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