Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
