How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
