my vag is so smooth its legendary
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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