That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
