I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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