I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
