It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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