just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
