Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
