Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
