her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
