I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize