Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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