i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
