jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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