my vag is so smooth its legendary
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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