I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
