I'm laying in your front yard are you home
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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