i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize