saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
