Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I think my vagina is haunted
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
