don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
All the doctor said was why
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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