stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
