We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
