You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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